#mo

Before you go,mate,turn on the telly. Something raunchy too. Think I'll rub off one before I go to sleep ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#ian #red-dragon #vampire #humor

Meg Cabot is the best author ever ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

Now let me be clear; millions of women around the world nurse their children beautifully for years without giving anybody else a hard time about it. Teat Nazis are a solely western upper-middle-class phenomenon occurring when highly ambitious women experience deprivation from outside modes of achievement. ↗

— Tina Fey

#beauty

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis. ↗

— Pierre Laplace

#atheist #god #humor #mathematics #napoleon

Damn, this op has been like a fucking Love Boat episode. ↗

— Suzanne Brockmann

#romantic-suspense #humor

Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #humor

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor

Gintoki: Listen, I don’t care what you guys do around the universe. This is my sword, and anywhere it can reach is my country! Bastards who come in and try to mess with my things…whether it be a general, whether it be space pirates, whether it be a meteorite…I’ll destroy them! ↗

— Hideaki Sorachi

#manga #humor

Fine!' she snapped, the desperation to have him growing exponentially now. 'I missed you. Only you. No man could ever make me feel like you do. I'm ruined for all others. I renamed all my vibrators after you and none of them get me off like you can. Happy now?' His eyes glazed for a second. '*All* your vibrators?' -Convicted ↗

— Dee Tenorio

#humor #romance #humor

If she happens to fall, I'll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards. ↗

— J.A. Redmerski

#humor