#mo

Come make me sticky. Dimitri to Honor ↗

— Nalini Singh

#sexy #sexy-humor #humor

Someday, my young friend, you'll find out that girls are actually people too. Just like you and me. ↗

— Heather Brewer

#humor #humor

Your pants didn't get smaller, Mommy," I assured her. "Your butt got bigger. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#humor #silly #humor

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #ibsen #moroseness #sombre-mood #unhappiness

Life's a grave dig it. ↗

— K.R. Helms

#humor

Only another twenty thousand or so days of this to go. ↗

— Alexander Gordon Smith

#humor

Yes,' he said sincerely. 'Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy #peanut-butter #silly #humor

Southern Mamas are known for being subtle, like a freight train. ↗

— Shellie Rushing Tomlinson

#southern-women #humor

He bowed jokingly, and everyone laughed as Mrs.Anderson shook her head. "Did you even read the material?" "of course I did." "Who was the leader of the North?" "Lincoln." "No, he was the president." "Yes, which means he was the fucking leader of everyone." -- Carmine ↗

— J.M. Darhower

#darhower #humor #sempre #humor