#mo

Sex drives the world and sex in on every human mind, be it a prophet or be it a saint, history has full of evidences. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#sex #humor

The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don't got nothing much to say. About anything. "Need a poo, Todd." "Shut up, Manchee." "Poo. Poo, Todd." "I said shut it. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#knife-of-never-letting-go #manchee #todd #humor

Foget Murphy's Law. Nixe's Law: if you were waiting to make a left turn, there was always one oncoming fucktard who sailed through on the red. ↗

— Mary Hughes

#humor

Jenny: But surely Lord Blakely could not abandon his estates for so long. Gareth: No. Lord Blakely could not. Not unless he had someone he could trust to run his estates in his absence. And Lord Blakely...Well, Lord Blakely did not trust anyone. Jenny: Lord Blakely is talking about himself in the third person, past tense. Its disturbing. ↗

— Courtney Milan

#romance #third-person #humor

Comedy breaks down walls. It frees us for just a moment from the ugliness of this world. ↗

— Goldie Hawn

#humor

So the Myan calendar ends in 2012. So what? My calendar ends in December. I just buy a new one. ↗

— Mr. Youngblood Geography teacher

#humor

Stars in the night,' he said. 'Something something something something, some delight ↗

— Philippa Gregory

#poetry #humor

If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President" "Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager ↗

— Dan Gutman

#humor #humor

The most valuable lesson man has learned from his dog is to kick a few blades of grass over it and move on. ↗

— Robert Brault

#humor

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it. ↗

— Elias Schwartz

#truth #humor