#moo

Did you know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? I know, because yesterday was in a bad mood, and I guess I must have frowned too much because this morning I woke up with a torn groin muscle. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#frown #funny #groin #smile #funny

Imperio!” Moody jerked his wand, and the spider rose onto two of its hind legs and went into what was unmistakably a tap dance. Everyone was laughing — everyone except Moody. “Think it’s funny, do you?” he growled. “You’d like it, would you, if I did it to you?” The laughter died away almost instantly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#mad-eye-moody #spells #spiders #tap-dance #funny

Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me - ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#bella-swan #funny #new-moon #twilight-saga #funny

She put her hand on her hip. "Where are you going?" "To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool." Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #funny #ilona-andrews #lord-bill #the-edge

We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind. ↗

— Frank Cottrell Boyce

#funny #moon #funny

You can't trust vampires, trust me ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#movie-quote #new-moon #twilight #twilight-quote #funny

Oh. My. God.’ she said, pointing out of the window. ‘Do you know what that is?’ I nodded and said, ‘I think I may have seen it before.’ ‘That,’ said Florida, ‘is the Moonyouidiot. ↗

— Frank Cottrell Boyce

#the-moon #funny

The perfect vehicle to take to the moon would be a two-door Saturn with a sunroof. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #moon #saturn #sunroof #vehicle

Pearls' burst out the Snork Maiden excitedly. 'Could ankle rings be made out of pearls?' 'I should think they could,' said Moomintoll. 'Ankle-rings, and nose-rings and ear-rings and engagement rings... ↗

— Tove Jansson

#classics #cute #finnish #funny #moomins

She was prisoner to an old, forgotten god, kept from her home, probably never to see it again, and yet... the way she sat, poised, calm, clear like a full moon night, she seemed much happier than me, the witch who contained them all, the jailer with the magic key. ↗

— Sarah Diemer

#god #moon #sea #witch #home