#net

Headline?" he asked. "'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said. "'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said. "'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said. ↗

— John Green

#humor #humour #internet #john-green #pedophile

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#internet #love #valentines-day #funny

Blackmailers never explain their thinking. They're like pirates that way. Dark-hearted, dangerous--- and cool like Johnny Depp. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#janette-rallison #thatsaquote #funny

You two were in a cave together?’ said Miss Simpkins in horror. ‘Yes,’ said Kate, ‘and it was very, very dark. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #kate #kenneth-oppel #matt #romance

Most neuroses and some psychoses can be traced to the unnecessary and unhealthy habit of daily wallowing in the troubles and sins of five billion strangers. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#friendship #internet #news #social-networking #friendship

And just before I go to sleep, I'll think of sentences that don't contain words like Hoover, Jogging, and Heart Transplant ↗

— Kirsten Gier

#gideon #qweneth #funny

...That Great Cocktail Cabinet in the Sky... ↗

— Nigella Lawson

#sky #home

The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #netherworld #humor

I heard one presidential candidate say that what this country needed was a president for the nineties. I was set to run again. I thought he said a president IN his nineties. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#nineties #president #humor

S.P.A.M. S.enseless P.eople A.always M.essaging ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#humor