#nit

I am oblivious to the obvious – it is such a vulgar way to characterize things. I have too much subtlety to notice anything beneath my dignity. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #obliviousness #obviousness #vulgarity

Pastors are starting to get wily. When people tell my friend, 'I'm not being fed,' he replies, 'I'm prefectly happy to spoon feed my one-year-old. But if I'm still spoon-feeding him when he's five, we've got a problem. Here's a fork. Feed yourself. ↗

— Jon Acuff

#christians #funny #inspirational #spiritual-growth #funny

Another reason is that the letters are almost always funny, offering readers the spectacle of some pompous self-celebrator given ample ironic room in which to parade his self-solicited hurt. ↗

— Paul Fussell

#funny

There is a funny story I always tell my students...when I came for the first time to the US. I didn’t speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word “exit” which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :”No wonder Americans are winners ,every door they take leads to success” ~smile :) ↗

— Pablo

#funny #humor #opportunity #success #funny

If flatness were funny, a dinner plate would be hilarious. ↗

— Walter Moers

#insanity #funny

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it ↗

— Bill Hicks

#christians #comedy #creationism #creationists #funny

Men are Like Guns They Shoot someone and broke them into pieces inside. ↗

— Loise Morales

#men

Cosmetics is one of the few masculine refuges a man has left. It is the presentation that makes the predator. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #masculinity #funny

I think guns are just a symbolic substitute for male genitalia, and I’m okay in that respect.” “Fine. If they get in the house, you can whack them with your genitals. ↗

— J.A. Konrath

#genitalia #guns #funny

And if you are playing in several meters at once, there has to be a - not a rigid - but there definitely has to be a reference to a common pulse in the band. ↗

— Robert Fripp

#common #definitely #meters #once #playing