#nu

When one steals a flying balloon and animates it to fly over Paris, one should, ideally, have some idea how said balloon normally works. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magnus-bane

–Si Jem muere, no puedo estar con Tessa, –dijo Will. –Porque sería como si estuviera esperando a que muriera, o como si me diera alegría su muerte, si eso me permite tenerla. Y no seré esa persona. No obtendré beneficio de su muerte. Entonces, él debe vivir. –Bajó su brazo, con la manga manchada de sangre. –Es la única forma de que esto signifique algo. De otro modo es simplemente... –¿Algo sin sentido, dolor y sufrimiento innecesarios? No creo que ayude si te digo que ese es el modo en que es la vida. El bueno sufre, el malo florece, y todo lo que es mortal se muere. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #magnus-bane

That much sexual tension makes me want to hump a phone pole, and that’s just not attractive in a pregnant woman. ↗

— Amy Lane

#sexual-innuendos #funny

I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn't know what to do in a fistfight without a manual. ↗

— Carrie Harris

#football #funny #manual #nerd #funny

Nix and Emma: 'Looks like you just found a new talent.' 'Great. Why couldn't I be good at underwater origami or something? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #nix-the-ever-knowing #nucking-futs-nix #funny

What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #purple-nurple

Supplementing the far, remote Glory-of-God expression in his face, the glory-of-doughnuts shone suddenly very warmly. ↗

— Eleanor Hallowell Abbott

#funny #humor #funny

Hammacher Schlemmer is selling a shelter, worthy of Kubla Khan's Xanadu dome; Plushy and swanky, with posh hanky panky that affluent Yankees can really call home. Hammacher Schlemmer is selling a shelter, a push-button palace, fluorescent repose; Electric devices for facing a crisis with frozen fruit ices and cinema shows. Hammacher Schlemmer is selling a shelter all chromium kitchens and rubber-tiled dorms; With waterproof portals to echo the chortles of weatherproof mortals in hydrogen storms. What a great come-to-glory emporium! To enjoy a deluxe moratorium, Where nuclear heat can beguile the elite in a creme-de-la-creme crematorium. ↗

— Yip Harburg

#rich #home

A man with nothing to sell is the most unprincipled of self-promoters. The only thing of value he has to offer a woman is his clothes. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #nudity #principles #salesmen #self-promotion

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic, and a progressive religious experience. ↗

— Shelley Winters

#age #beauty #nudity #theater #youth