#o

Lord brayton is a very attractive man,' she called out above all their guffaws. 'And if he were to wear tis in my presence outside the bounds if this school, I would bed him. Repeatedly. Until I was unable to walk. ↗

— Delilah Marvelle

#humor

And-he was ashamed to admit--he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#paranormal-romance #sharon-ashwood #the-dark-forgotten #unchained #humor

If people were meant to pop out of bed in the morning, we'd all live in toasters. ↗

— Garfeild

#humor

We are men who find chess fascinating. Did you expect our lives to be secretly interesting? ↗

— Noah Boyd

#humor #humor

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humorous #humor

His fair landlady was in despair. She would most willingly have made M. d'Artagnan her husband--such a handsome man, and such a fierce mustache! ↗

— Alexandre Dumas

#humor

Rose is in red but never in blue sharp as a thorn fights like one too ↗

— Richelle mead vampire academy

#humor

Maybe this isn't such a good idea," I said as he stepped out of his jeans--and I don't think Superman ever shed his clothes as fast or looked as gorgeous naked. "The sex is nice, but we seem to singe our eyebrows on the afterglow. ↗

— josh lanyon Somebody Killed His Editor

#romance #humor

This was our last night. We only had one curtain call, Bree. And I thought they were going to give us a standing ovation, but no-o-o-. Do you know why half the audience stood up?" "To get a head start on the traffic," Bree said. "To get a head start on the traffic," Antonia agreed in indignation. "I mean, here we are, dancing and singing our little guts out, and all those folks want to do is get to bed early. I ask you, whatever happened to common courtesy? Whatever happened to decent manners? Doesn't anyone care about craft anymore? And on top of that, it's not even nice. ↗

— Mary Stanton

#disappointment #expectations #humor #performance #play

Humility is nothing to brag about. ↗

— Buddy What

#humor