#of

Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do? ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#dark-hunter #funny #nhumour #funny

What a schmuck! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #kids-lit #lemony-snickets #series-of-unfortunate-events #funny

Are there any other missing persons living under your roof? Elvis? Jimmy Hoffa? Amelia Earhart? I'd just like full disclosure now, before we go any further. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#officer-koenig #shiver #funny

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#its-kind-of-a-funny-story #ned-vizinni #funny

Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#awkward #funny #maureen-johnson #shades-of-london #funny

My tiny scary friend is coming ↗

— Laini Taylor

#funny #karou #funny

I'm taller than my father, and taller than two of the stones at Ban Drochaid." "I meant in feet," she clarified. Speaking of the mundane gave her a measure of calm. He eyed his boots a moment and appeared to be doing some rapid calculations. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #gwen #height #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

Are you decent?" a woman's voice called, pushing the door cautiously ajar. "Nay, but we're clothed," Cian purred. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning #spell-of-the-highlander #funny

As long as you are wearing a hat made out of shingles, you’ll always have a roof over your head. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hat #roof #funny

Funny how a little sleep, a little makeup, and a lot of contemplating can make you feel like a different person - a stronger version of yourself. ↗

— Anna Banks

#of-poseidon #quote #funny