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Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "if you were a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "yes," said jace. "or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. ↗


— Cassandra Clare


#city-of-fallen-angels #humor #jace #humor

The door buzzer sounded again. The two boys exchanged a single look before both bolting down the narrow hallway to the door. Jordan got there first. He grabbed for the coatrack that stood by the door, ripped the coats off it, and flung the door wide, the rack held aboe his head like a javelin. On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?" Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. ↗


— Cassandra Clare


#city-of-fallen-angels #coatrack #coats #funny #humor

She made an impatient noise. "By the Angel, you don't know anything about your kid, do you? Do you even really know how vampires are made?" "Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much ... ↗


— Cassandra Clare


#city-of-fallen-angels #funny #humor #isabelle-lightwood #simon-lewis

Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye. ↗


— J.K. Rowling


#sarcasm #tell-off #wit #humor

Most helmsmen would’ve been satisfied with a pilot’s wheel or a tiller. Leo had also installed a keyboard, monitor, aviation controls from a Learjet, a dubstep soundboard, and motion-control sensors from a Nintendo Wii. He could turn the ship by pulling on the throttle, fire weapons by sampling an album, or raise sails by shaking his Wii controllers really fast. Even by demigod standards, Leo was seriously ADHD. ↗


— Rick Riordan


#humor #humor

Her name is Brienne," Jaime said. "Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You are still maiden, I hope?" Her broad homely face turned red. "Yes." "Oh, good," Jaime said. "I only rescue maidens. ↗


— George R.R. Martin


#brienne-of-tarth #humor #jaime-lannister #rescue #humor

I suppose you've always been amazing at this stuff?" "I was born amazing" Jace stroked her cheek with the tips of his fingertips, lightly but enough to make her shiver. ↗


— Cassandra Clare


#clary-fray #jace-lightwood #clary-fray

(Sebastian) "See, there you go. You're always looking at me like that." "Like what?" "Like I burn down animal shelters for fun and light my cigarettes with orphans. ↗


— Cassandra Clare


#clary-fray #jonathan-morgenstern #lol #sebastian #clary-fray

Clary?" he thought. Her voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What's happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?" "Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from the Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurfs question. ↗


— Cassandra Clare


#clary-fray #lol #simon #smurfs #clary-fray

At that time, I often thought that if I had had to live in the trunk of a dead tree, with nothing to do but look up at the sky flowing overhead, little by little I would have gotten used to it. ↗


— Albert Camus


#meursault #profound #existentialism






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