#oh

One must binge constantly to remain self-employed. To sober up would result in getting fired for over-efficiency. ↗

— Bauvard

#binging #employment #funny #humor #sobriety

Being upright and uncompromising will lead to unemployment by themselves. But to be willfully ignorant of a calling in life as well, that is the denial of a born alcoholic. ↗

— Bauvard

#callings #denial #funny #humor #jobs

Water is not as life-giving as alcohol, or as widespread. But it is more ethical to use as an industrial solvent. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #solvents #water #funny

I have tried many times to express my feelings, but at each attempt, I find myself tongue-tied. ↗

— Kate Cary

#love

Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them. ↗

— John Green

#john-green

I am in the midst of a soliloquy! I wrote this out and memorized it and if you interrupt me I will completely screw it up,' Augustus interrupted. 'Please to be eating your sandwich and listening. ↗

— John Green

#the-fault-in-our-stars #the-fault-in-our-stars

Tohru: "Call a doctor, or a vet, or something! Mr. Postman! It's terrible! You see?! They're animals!" Mailman: "Well, uh, yes, they certainly are. Here's your mail." Tohru: "No, no, we've got to do something!" (Shigure in dog form grabs the letter.) Mailman: "I wish my dog was as smart. Good day! ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #tohru #tohru-honda

It was your choice to sleep with her Gavin! It didn't just happen! ↗

— Belinda G. Buchanan

#alcoholism #contemporary-romance #infidelity #medical-romance #infidelity

Courtesy of their tempers, both were now dressed in the Captain Asshole costume—which included, for no extra charge, the cape of disgrace, the booties of shame, and keys to the Fuck Up mobile. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #tohrment #humor

When a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred. ↗

— Masashi Kishimoto

#best-naruto-qoute #best-qoute #childeren #history #humor