#om

New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #charles-cornick #cry-wolf #defense

What's going on?" Newt asked, looking back and forth between Thomas and Aris. "Why're you guys looking at each other like you just fell in love? ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #newt #thomas #humor

I see a tongue! Some asshole is licking my peephole. ↗

— Mark Tufo

#tongue #zombie #humor

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #humor #random

It's why I get miffed at all the dashing around in recent zombie films. It completely misses the point; transforms the threat to a straightforward physical danger from the zombies themselves, rather than our own inability to avoid them and these films are about us, not them. There's far more meat on the bones of the latter, far more juicy interpretation to get our teeth into. The first zombie is by comparison thin and one dimensional and ironically, it is down to all the exercise. ↗

— Simon Pegg

#humor #memoir #zombies #humor

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Alice is fictional. This isn't. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#dark-humor #group-think #groupthink #lady-gaga #mad-magazine

I don't know whether to toss you through that window or shake your hand and say 'Well done'" Henry said in a tired voice. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#romance #humor

Kipling: Where's your sense of humor? Rebis: We're working on reconstructing it... ↗

— Grant Morrison

#humor #sardonic #humor

I want to write a song about one man's level of commitment called, "I'd walk to the edge of the world, just to dump your body. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #music #song #humor