#random

I'm Magnus Bane." he went on in a soothing tone, stretching out his ringed hands. Blue sparks had begun to dance between them like bioluminescence dancing water. "I'm the warlock who's here to cure you. Didn't they tell you I was comming?" "I know who you are, but..." Maia looked dazed. "You look so... so... shiny. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magnus-bane #maia #mortal-instruments #funny

This wretched brain gave way, and I became a wreck at random driven, without one glimpse of reason or heaven. ↗

— Thomas More

#brain #driven #gave #glimpse #heaven

If a terrorist group wanted to hit Britain, all they'd have to do is kill 100 random celebrities. The country would have a nervous breakown. ↗

— Chris Morris

#celebrities #country #group #hit #kill

A rescue mission doesn't involve going in and just taking a child and leaving. You can't just choose any child at random. Every kid has a case that is based on that child's original family. So, we made it over to a village, found the child; we were interacting with the child. ↗

— Jason Mraz

#based #case #child #choose #every

He was the firstborn Bridgerton of a firstborn Bridgerton of a firstborn Bridgerton eight times over. He had a dynastic responsibility to be fruitful and multiply. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#funny

I was the first in my peer group to get pregnant. All I craved was reassurance. I needed someone to tell me that all the seemingly random symptoms I had - weird things, such as excess saliva - were normal. And I was worried because I wasn't getting any morning sickness. ↗

— Heidi Murkoff

#because #craved #excess #first #get

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #pickles #random #funny

Nature, I have constantly argued in my work, is the real superpower of this godless universe. It is the ultimate disposer of human fate, randomly recarving geography over 10,000-year epochs. ↗

— Camille Paglia

#constantly #epochs #fate #geography #godless

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#destruction #earthquakes #floods #funny #funny-and-random

My name is Davis Davis. And don’t call me Mr. Davis! How would you like it if I called you Mr. Archibald, or whatever your first name is? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #random #funny