#random

Random things are luxurious to people. It's personal. ↗

— L'Wren Scott

#people #personal #random #things

I sleep with an astronaut’s helmet on my head, just in case I get into a high-speed crash with space during the middle of the night. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #funny

A brick could be surgically inserted in the chest of a man who needs a heart transplant. And for just $20,000 more dollars, that brick could be replaced with a new heart.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means, 'I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass, ' but they don't say anything because they're Wolverine and Magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny

The progression of roles you take strings together a portrait of an actor, but it's a completely random process. ↗

— Meryl Streep

#completely #portrait #process #progression #random

NI! Oh no! Not ni! ↗

— Graham Chapman

#holy-grail #humor #funny

A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists. ↗

— Christy Leigh Stewart

#president #rape #title #funny

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear? ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#funny-and-random #funny