#random

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #pickles #random #funny

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#random #seriously-i-m-kidding #worth-reading #funny

It's almost not safe to be an artist, the way everybody is randomly picking people to feud with. ↗

— Busta Rhymes

#artist #everybody #feud #people #picking

It looks like Animal and Miss piggy had sex," I said. "And this was the spawn." "My eyes!" Boomer cried. "My eyes! I can't stop seeing it now that you've said it! ↗

— David Levithan

#funny

But in fact, when you try to model that on a computer you find that because of the very structure of matter and of the chemical bonds that are the basis of every organism, evolution is not random at all. It will tend to follow certain paths. ↗

— Kevin Kelly

#because #bonds #certain #chemical #computer

I didn't know where this stuff was coming from - all of a sudden I was a little magickal sprite, bonding with my stone, feeling my earth roots, la la la... All I can is describe the way it felt. And that was how it felt. So sue me. Was I swaying? I felt like I might be swaying. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#funny

Random things are luxurious to people. It's personal. ↗

— L'Wren Scott

#people #personal #random #things

NI! Oh no! Not ni! ↗

— Graham Chapman

#holy-grail #humor #funny

A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny