#om

This was our last night. We only had one curtain call, Bree. And I thought they were going to give us a standing ovation, but no-o-o-. Do you know why half the audience stood up?" "To get a head start on the traffic," Bree said. "To get a head start on the traffic," Antonia agreed in indignation. "I mean, here we are, dancing and singing our little guts out, and all those folks want to do is get to bed early. I ask you, whatever happened to common courtesy? Whatever happened to decent manners? Doesn't anyone care about craft anymore? And on top of that, it's not even nice. ↗

— Mary Stanton

#disappointment #expectations #humor #performance #play

Don't be bashful; we're among gentlemen. It's a known fact that we men are the missing link between the pirate and the pig. ↗

— Carlos Ruiz Zafón

#men #wisdom #humor

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#life-and-living #love #relationship #romantic #humor

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. ↗

— Emperor Charles V

#humorous-quotes #languages #humor

MEG (to Dante, the vampire):“Vampires aren’t as cool as I expected them to be. In romance novels, vampires are all dark and broody and sexy. In real life, you talk an awful lot about stocks. ↗

— Sophie Oak

#paranormal-romance #vampires #humor

Leave it to women to be cryptic rather than straightforward ↗

— Kaye Dacus

#women #humor

Chapter Eight: I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks. ↗

— Nicki Elson

#romance #humor

What are you doing?” “What does it look like? I’m getting down on my knees.” His head butted against her stomach. Her muscles clenched, shocked at the touch, even through the layer of cotton. “I’ve never begged a woman for anything before. Enjoy this.” She tried to think of something sufficiently sassy. “Enjoy it? I can’t even see it.” “It’s symbolic. ↗

— Alisha Rai

#humor #romance #forgiveness

Unsere Landschaft ist nicht so dramatisch wie die Alpen, aber ausreichend dramatisch. Das Wasser in unserem See ist nicht so warm wie auf den Malediven, aber ausreichend warm. Die Bären in unseren Wäldern sind nicht so groß wie in Alaska, aber ausreichend groß." Solche Werbung gibt es wohl wirklich nur in Schweden. Dem Land, wo die Königsfamilie nicht so königlich ist wie in Windsor, aber ausreichend königlich. ↗

— Gunnar Herrmann

#lagom #sweden #humor

The cleanest civilization I’ve ever seen…and the number one thing you pack for a wedding is a jar of dirt? ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #wedding-traditions #humor