#om

I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the guy, this was the time, so I should leg go and enjoy myself. But it never came. And by no small coincidence, neither did I. ↗

— Molly Harper

#coming #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Lord Carradice managed to look wicked, smug, and saintly, all at the same time. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny

You look like a hot tamale.” “That’s not really a compliment. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK? ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#science #violence #funny

You’ve got a big ego, Fuentes.” “That’s not all I’ve got. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then cover up that wine with a blanket and turn wine into water.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conquer the world and control the globe through secret occult knowledge. Just ask the Masons.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

One brick could be used to do the work of two men, if both men are dead. In this case, a blanket could be used to cover up their decomposing corpses.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A red brick, along with other red bricks, could be used in place of a STOP sign. Nothing says STOP quite like a brick wall.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny