#om

To sing along with Stevie Wonder, you had to make your voice do things it was not accustomed to doing. ↗

— Michael Bolton

#along #doing #had #make #sing

You're presuming too much by using the word legacy - presuming that someone is going to care. ↗

— Michael Bolton

#going #legacy #much #presuming #someone

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years." ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#each #i #practical #put #raising

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#being #call #child #high-risk #home

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#beverage #come #considered #family #gravy

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#anyone #birth #car #given #lend

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#bathroom #call #child #dog #doing

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#cup #measured #measuring #mother #only

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#certainly #decreed #infinite #league #little

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#dead #fruit #hairy #i #me