#omen

If you’re at the bar trying to pick up women, remember: bend at the knees. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #women #funny

Woman was domesticated so that man could be tamed. When will we unite and rise up against the livestock? ↗

— Bauvard

#domesticity #funny #humor #livestock #love

If a gorgeous woman hits on me right off the bat, I’m suspicious. I wonder what she wants. If she hasn’t heard my wit, felt my charm, how could I appeal to her? I’m no Brad Pitt. So what is she after? Most likely it’s my horse cock. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #women #funny

I want to be more than a rose in my husband's lapel. ↗

— Margaret Trudeau

#marriage #women #life

If I ever get a 20-dollar bill, I like to convert it into 20 singles, because women like guys with lots of money.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #money #random

...religions all have the same timeline...First the people feel the need to worship something. The sun or the giant corn of ear. That's the first thing. Then the guys say okay, now that we've got the giant corn thing going, how can we use it to oppress women? ↗

— Carol Anshaw

#religion #women-s-rights #funny

Plastic surgery is for dolls. I am a mannequin of life. I have a particularly charming effect when seen through glass. ↗

— Bauvard

#good-looks #handsomeness #humor #plastic-surgery #funny

Women's hats contain so many possibilities for subtle sensual expression. When I wear one, it entices the opposite sex with erotic suggestions which they interpret without confusion and which I have never figured out. My wife is always able to predict when I'll forget our anniversary, how thin she’ll look on my birthday, and who ate her box of chocolates on Valentine's Day. Without my hat as her radar, I would have absolutely no insight into her total inexplicability. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #hats #humor #mysterious #women

A beautiful woman is a practical poet, taming her savage mate, planting tenderness, hope and eloquence in all whom she approaches. ↗

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

#men #relationships #woman #women #beauty

Women are walking around on the streets. From her calf and the hem of her skirt to her hip, from her hair to the high heels on her feet, a young woman is freedom. Especially when you look at her from afar. ↗

— Hwang Sŏk-yŏng

#freedom #hwang-sok-yong #the-old-garden #women #young-women