#on

Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #humor

Rae burned me. She has matches or something. Look, look..." Tori pulled down the collar of her T-shirt. "Leave your cloths on, Tori," Simon said, raising his hands to his eyes. "Please. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#simon #the-summoning #humor

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together. ↗

— Sam Levenson

#humor #relationships #family

I had just heard tales that the Valkyrie were large warriors, akin to Amazons.” “If you’re the sole survivor of an army attacked by us, are you going to say we had our asses handed to us by petite, nubile females, or by she-monsters who can bench Buicks? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humor #humor

No one believes you’re serious until bodies start to fall. -Vlad ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humor #night-huntress #vlad #humor

I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it. ↗

— Michael Grant

#humor #mathematics #humor

Gabi to Marcus "I can't believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest! ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#reproduction #humor

Civilization is vastly overrated. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #humor

Something snapped inside her. “Of course I’m afraid! Relationships do bad things to me.” He started to respond, but the pain had gone on long enough, and she didn’t want to hear it. “You know what I want? I want peace. I want a good job and a decent place to live. I want to read books and listen to music and have time to make some female friendships that are going to last. When I wake up in the morning, I want to know that I have a decent shot at being happy. And here’s what’s really sad. Until I met you, I was almost there. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#friendship

Miracles are merely events that happen just when they are needed. ↗

— David Gemmell

#revelation #inspirational