#on

Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics? ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #series #vampires #humor

The colonel dwelt in a vortex of specialists who were still specializing in trying to determine what was troubling him. They hurled lights in his eyes to see if he could see, rammed needles into nerves to hear if he could feel. There was a urologist for his urine, a lymphologist for his lymph, an endocrinologist for his endocrines, a psychologist for his psyche, a dermatologist for his derma; there was a pathologist for his pathos, a cystologist for his cysts, and a bald and pendantic cetologist from the zoology department at Harvard who had been shanghaied ruthlessly into the Medical Corps by a faulty anode in an I.B.M. machine and spent his sessions with the dying colonel trying to discuss Moby Dick with him. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor

The cleanest civilization I’ve ever seen…and the number one thing you pack for a wedding is a jar of dirt? ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #wedding-traditions #humor

Hiking is sort of like strip poker: by the end, all the participants are hot, sweaty, and nearly naked, and the winner is the person who wore the most layers. ↗

— Winona Dimeo-Ediger

#humor #humor

The best fiction is true. ↗

— Kinky Friedman

#humor #on-fiction #truth #humor

Things that we do without knowing why are we doing them are usually the best things that we do. ↗

— Minhal Mehdi

#humor #life #nspirational #humor

It was almost noon when the plane touched down at the Triad airport on the outskirts of Greensboro. There was a hire car waiting for me; I waved my notepad at the dashboard to transmit my profile, then waited as the seating and controls rearranged themselves slightly, piezoelectric actuators humming. As I started to reverse out of the parking bay, the stereo began a soothing improvisation, flashing up a deadpan title: Music for Leaving Airports 11 June 2008. ↗

— Greg Egan

#humour #science-fiction #humor

and (b) Kissing someone so that you can get a free trip is perilously close to full-on hooking ↗

— John Green

#humor

... The Book is more important than your plans for it. You have to go with what works for The Book ~ if your ideas appear hollow or forced when they are put on paper, chop them, erase them, pulverise them and start again. Don't whine when things are not going your way, because they are going the right way for The Book, which is more important. The show must go on, and so must The Book. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#books #creative-process #creativity #editing #editing-humor

According to the most common interpretation of biblical prophecy, Jesus will return only after things have gone horribly awry. Imagine the consequences if any significant component of the U.S. government believed that the world was about to end and that its ending would be glorious. The fact that nearly half of the American population apparently believes this should be considered a moral and intellectual emergency. ↗

— Sam Harris

#rational #religion #thinking #imagination