#one

Aside from murder alibis and kinky sex, what good are clones? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #kinky-sex #murder #funny

Lonely people have enthusiasms which cannot always be explained. When something strikes them as funny, the intensity and length of their laughter mirrors the depth of their loneliness, and they are capable of laughing like hyenas. When something touches their emotions, it runs through them like Paul Revere, awakening feelings that gather into great armies. ↗

— Mark Helprin

#intensity #laughter #loneliness #lonely-people #funny

You can't put a price tag on human life. But if you could, I'd demand coupons for clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #life #funny

Love is wealth, and the wealthy get taxed heavily. The universe is God’s welfare system, and communion is like standing in line for food stamps. When I get to the front, I’m chugging the wine. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #money #food

Promiscuous clone-love is the only way to realize the maxim, ‘love your neighbor as yourself. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #love #funny

You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#caves #computer #funny #old-fashioned #writer

I wish I had only offered you a sovereign instead of ten pounds. Give me back nine pounds, Jane; I’ve a use for it.' 'And so have I, sir,' I returned, putting my hands and my purse behind me. 'I could not spare the money on any account.' 'Little niggard!' said he, 'refusing me a pecuniary request! Give me five pounds, Jane.' 'Not five shillings, sir; nor five pence.' 'Just let me look at the cash.' 'No, sir; you are not to be trusted. ↗

— Charlotte Brontë

#money #funny

I make money using my brains and lose money listening to my heart. But in the long run my books balance pretty well. ↗

— Kate Seredy

#books #brains #heart #i #listening

Money is a strange business. People who haven't got it aim it strongly. People who have are full of troubles. ↗

— Ayrton Senna

#aim #business #full #got #haven

I wanted to be a painter, really, when I was growing up as a kid. It was one thing that really took a grip on me. ↗

— Andy Serkis

#growing #growing up #i #kid #me