#or

If you run away from trouble, it always follows.' Rather my impression, too. Though that never stopped me trying. ↗

— Tanith Lee

#life #humor

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor

Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#humor

You can laugh! But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#luna-lovegood #humor

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. ↗

— Robin P. Williams

#drugs #humor #reality #humor

I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley, ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#school #humor

A sense of humor...is superior to any religion so far devised. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#humor

That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy." Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things." But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror." I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?" Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#horror-movies #humor #killers #stupidity #humor

V shook his head. “Remember what you saw in that clearing, cop? How’d you like that anywhere near a female you loved?” Butch put down the Bud without drinking from it. His eyes traveled over Rhage’s body. “We’re going to need a shitload of steel,” the human muttered. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #paranormal #rhage #romance #vampire

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons. ↗

— Douglas MacArthur

#military #humor