#or

Will speechless for once, a glass of water frozen halfway to his lips ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #humor

Don''t headbutt the sun, idiot. ↗

— Wheezywaiter

#obvious #ridiculous #humor

Still trying to save the world?” “Always,” I said, “and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s working. The world is still here. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#save-the-world #humor

Most things are forgotten over time. Even the war itself, the life-and-death struggle people went through is now like something from the distant past. We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#letting-go #life #life-lessons #love #memories

Bookshop Customer: 'Who wrote the bible?' Customer's friend: 'Jesus. ↗

— Jen Campbell

#books #humor #humor

You have more balls than a Christmas tree. ↗

— Danielle Steel

#humor

Keep driving," said a soft voice in my ear. "She will not bite if you keep driving." Fuck that. Fuck that idea like the fucking Captain of the Thai Fuck Team fucking at the fucking Tour de Fuck. ↗

— David Wong

#horror #humor #humor

These Kingsguard knights are as useless as nipples on a breastplate. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#lannister-sense-of-humor #humor

Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack ↗

— James R. Tuck

#sarcastic-humor #humor

I got the sneaking suspicion that the vampire was a couple of Peeps short of an Easter basket. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor