#or

After a few days, I mused, I would have no trouble. Whoever heard of a revolution of fat men? ↗

— Louis L'Amour

#humor

it’s as if the universe has a sense of humor, since at a deep level it’s impossible not to lead a spiritual life… the universe is living through you at this moment. with or without belief in god, the chain of events leading from silent awareness to physical reality remains intact. ↗

— Deepak Chopra

#spirituality #universe #humor

There is, after all, no pleasure like that given by a woman who really wants to see you. ↗

— Anthony Powell

#insightful #poignant #humor

He pulled out a dagger from ... she wasn't sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does he have in there? (Amy's thoughts, The Witching Pen) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#dianna-hardy #humor #humorous #paranormal-romance #the-witching-pen

Agatha had a face like an avocado, and a voice like guacamole. I know because I eat lime scented (and flavored) tortilla chips all the time (except at 4:44). ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#voice #humor

Just FYI," Lenny says, his face still red from the nasty sunburn. "I've got a shitload of condoms in my duffle. Front pocket." "For what?" "Listen if you don't know what condoms are for I'm not gonna teach you." "I know what they're for, shithead. I just highly doubt you're getting any ass on this trip." "Watch me," Lenny says. "My boy gets action all the time." "Yeah, I bet your right hand is tired from all that action" I mumble as I walk to the bathroom. "I'm a leftie!" Lenny calls after me. I try not to wince from thinking about it. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor

I spend a lot of time saving time. I have a filing cabinet full of clocks and watches. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #time #watches #humor

Sirus let his gaze drop and linger over the fine lines of Grey’s body that no amount of winter clothing could hide, and he cursed under his breath at the waste of such a thing of perfection attached to such an asshole of a person. ↗

— Cameron Dane

#humor #humor

In one scene, when I was supposed to say, "In a pig's eye you are," what came out was, "In a pig's ass you are." Old habits die awfully hard. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#humor #improvising #night-of-the-iguana #swearing #humor

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? ↗

— Steve Wright

#life #humor