#or

...Jim finished his beer and wondered how in the hell he'd found himself in the role of Cupid. Man, if those four lads even thought about getting him to wear the wings and a diaper while he nocked his arrow, he was so renegotiating his employee contract. And not with words. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

I'm very much afraid I didn't mean anything but nonsense. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humour #reality #humor

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson ↗

— Matt Groening

#homer-simpson #humor #matt-groening #simpons #humor

I was glad to be rid of him. He was one of those people who could go to New York and be "fascinating," but here in his own world he was just a cheap functionary, and a dull one at that. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#irritating #poseurs #humor

when the boogie man goes to sleep he checks his closet for me ↗

— Chuck Norris

#humor

When people tell you, "don't worry," it means you're already screwed. They just don't want you to worry about it... ↗

— John Bailey Denton

#humor

We want to fight.” “And I want J.K. Rowling to keep writing in the Potterverse, but I know that’s never going to happen,” I said blithely. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fallen-legion #fantasy #fiction #humor #j-k-rowling

He's attracted to the smell of manure," Felicity says. "You might wallow in the stables to bring out the full flower of his love. ↗