#or

If you pull some lame-ass 'I'm your father' bullshit, right now, I'm going to lose it. ↗

— Martin Leicht

#captive #humor #humor

Herr Altenburg, I can't; I have vertigo.' And Marek looked at him: 'All right - I'll get the chemist to fix me something. ↗

— Eva Ibbotson

#humor #marek #song-for-summer #humor

There's only one person who needs a glass of water oftener than a small child tucked in for the night, and that's a writer sitting down to write. ↗

— Mignon McLaughlin

#humor #writers #writing #humor

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

You're cool Joe" she told him, her voice weighty, as if she was bestowing a grave honor on him even though a blind person could sense his utter coolness. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#humor #humor

It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#novels #writing #humor

You're a big one,[...] a tall drink of water, but I got to tell you, you don't look too bright. I got a son, stupid as a man who bought his stupid at a two-for-one sale, and you remind me of him. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

Maybe you can explain to me what is so spectacular about her, because you gay girls can’t seem to keep your hands off that daffy redhead. ↗

— Cassandra Duffy

#lesbian #humor

... and her voice cut through the noise like a scythe through a poodle. ↗

— Daniel O'Malley

#humor

I am going to die, her brain recited calmly. I am going to be stabbed until I am died. How infuriating. I have so much left to do. ↗

— Claire Legrand

#humor