#or

I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to live forever. I don't take no stock in mathematics, anyway. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #mathematics #school #education

Your Wheezy, sir, your Wheezy — Wheezy who is giving Dobby his sweater! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #ron #humor

But the law is an odd thing. For instance, one country in Europe has a law that requires all its bakers to sell bread at the exact same price. A certain island has a law that forbids anyone from removing its fruit. And a town not too far from where you live has a law that bars me from coming within five miles of its borders. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#law #humor

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required". ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor

American grammar doesn't have the sturdiness of British grammar (a British advertising man with a proper education can make magazine copy for ribbed condoms sound like the Magna goddam Carta), but it has its own scruffy charm ↗

— Stephen King

#education

No, I’m done! I’m tired, I’m sweaty, I’m in agony, and why do I feel like I need to shit?” “It’s totally natural to feel that way,” said Grace in a placatory, calming voice. “Some women even have one during labor.” “What?” The word dripped with horror. “Women can shit when they’re in labor? Tell me that won’t happen to me! Don’t you let me shit, Grace! ↗

— Suzanne Wright

#taryn #humor

I always find that if I sit down, a solution presents itself! ↗

— Rob MacGregor

#movies #humor

An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo! ↗

— Jim Butcher

#errands #incendiary-poo #pyromaniac-gorillas #danger

There's nothing more dangerous than someone who wants to make the world a better place. ↗

— Banksy

#dangerous #save #world #danger

Emma: You can demand that Pettibone retain my services, but you cannot make similar demands of the parents of the students. They will not entrust the education of their daughters to a woman who has removed her clothing for an artist, no matter how exalted that artist may be. Pettibone would become a school without students. No that avenue is closed to me now. Nicholas: Women disrobe for men other than their husbands every day. Emma: But they are not on exhibition in the Royal Academy. Nicholas: what of extenuating circumstances? Emma: You make no sense ↗

— Donna MacMeans

#humor #romance #society #education