#or

The school made it very clear that women were entitled to positions of authority. That sense of entitlement allowed us to feel that we have a natural place in leadership in the world. That gave me a mental and emotional confidence. ↗

— Linda Vester

#authority #clear #confidence #emotional #entitled

With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#anal-sex #congress #funny #humor #politics

I am tempted to incapacitate him with the hemlock and then castrate him.” Lena paled. “I don’t think that would be very wise,” she said. “And the only knife we own is what I use for the cooking. You’re not using that.” “I was planning on using a spoon,” Honoria replied. ↗

— Bec McMaster

#steampunk #wicked #humor

I’d put a banana on my tray, too. That, at least, didn’t remind me of anything trying to kill me. Could you kill someone with a banana? It didn’t seem possible. Maybe a possessed banana. I’d seen possessed pets before, but not possessed fruit. But I’ll bet it’s out there somewhere. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #strange-angels #humor

I close my eyes and lean my head against the seat, and the word fuck just repeats itself over and over in my head, because fuck. ↗

— Courtney Summers

#humor

Well now," the scholar went on, "I'm just an old fuddy-duddy who could use a tan, so you needn't grant my opinion any authority, but I consider the queendom lucky that a handful of Milliners and their children lived incognito among the population during Redd's tyranny. ↗

— Frank Beddor

#frank #glass #humor #incognito #looking

I suggest we depict penguins as callous and unfeeling creatures who insist on bringing up their children in what is little more than a large chest freezer. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#penguins #humor

I’ve heard it said: ‘By his home you shall know him’; and we all know that we must pay attention to anyone who reverses the subject and auxiliary verb in his sentence. ↗

— Steven Brust

#humor

I'm an actor in between jobs right now, so I kind of live the life of a 7-year old. ↗

— Aaron Yoo

#between #i #jobs #kind #life

Im studying jerkoffs in the wild," Ben answered dryly. "This seemed like a good chance to view one up close. ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#humor #humor