#or

Frank stared at him. "Unfair? You can breathe underwater and blow up glaciers and summon freaking hurricanes-and it's unfair that I can be an elephant?" Percy considered. "Okay. I guess you got a point. But the next time I say you're totally beast-" "Just shut up," Frank said. "Please." Percy cracked a smile. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ↗

— Flannery O'Connor

#childhood #humor #southern-authors #southern-writers #writing

It is like our foreign policy has attention deficit disorder. ↗

— Tim Ryan

#attention deficit #deficit #disorder #foreign #foreign policy

I really didn't have any plans to record prior to doing My Own Best Enemy. ↗

— Richard Marx

#best #doing #enemy #i #my own

Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin' abou'—about ANYTHING?" Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad. I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #ignorance #math #humor

In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're sure. You say of course you're sure, really, you don't need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don't need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn't mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it's no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting. In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don't get any damned tea. I liked the Irish way better. ↗

— C.E. Murphy

#humor #ireland #tea #humor

Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#fun #humor #megalomania #world-domination #humor

We are responsible for actions performed in response to circumstances for which we are not responsible. ↗

— Allan Massie

#circumstances #performed #response #responsible #which

I think competition is very important; it breeds many good things in a person. ↗

— Brian McBride

#competition #good #good things #i #i think

Classic economic theory, based as it is on an inadequate theory of human motivation, could be revolutionized by accepting the reality of higher human needs, including the impulse to self actualization and the love for the highest values. ↗

— Abraham Maslow

#based #classic #could #economic #economic theory