#p

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.' ↗

— Tim Vine

#home #i #phone #picked #please

For one thing, I don't pun excessively in real life. ↗

— Tim Vine

#i #life #one thing #pun #real

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor. ↗

— Tim Vine

#i #know #metaphor #out #went

My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul. ↗

— Tim Vine

#bedroom #bit #david #elvis #got

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway. ↗

— Tim Vine

#ask #childhood #comics #conscious #conscious effort

People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff. ↗

— Tim Vine

#am #because #busy #driven #garden

With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke. ↗

— Tim Vine

#always #because #condense #confidence #getting

God has never ceased to be the one true aim of all right human aspirations. ↗

— Alexandre Vinet

#aspirations #ceased #god #human #never

Studying anthropology, I developed a kind of holistic view of human existence, in which the dichotomies you listed are all necessary and vital aspects of life. ↗

— Joan D. Vinge

#aspects #developed #existence #holistic #human

We are all born with a unique genetic blueprint, which lays out the basic characteristics of our personality as well as our physical health and appearance... And yet, we all know that life experiences do change us. ↗

— Joan D. Vinge

#basic #blueprint #born #change #characteristics