#pa

If you're at a party with more than five people named Chad, get the fuck out right away. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#parties #humor

Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn’t judge others? Master of Stupidity: Don’t! Unless you are paid for it. ↗

— Toba Beta

#judge #life #paid #truth #humor

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#careful #dannika-dark #funny #humor #mageri

Show me a girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and I'll show you a girl who can't put her pants on. -Annik Marchand ↗

— Ann Brashares

#humor #pants #humor

... Paris was a city of love for unimaginative folks. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#love #paris #humor

I brandished my parasol at him like a rapier. 'You, sir, are an abominable scalawag of a man, and I'll be damned if I let you threaten me. ↗

— Susan Dennard

#parasols #scalawags #strong-heroines #humor

Well, I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger," mewed Graypaw, breaking off from his carful stalking to stagger comically across the clearing. "I think I'll have to settle for hunting stupid mice. They won't stand a chance. I shall just wander up to them and sit on them till they surrender. ↗

— Erin Hunter

#graypaw #humor #into-the-wild #humor

Oh" She seems relieved. "So you weren't—" "Don't worry, Ms.Grey. I wasn't drinking, smoking, toking or snorting in school. I keep the recreational drug use at home where it belongs. ↗

— Courtney Summers

#parker-fadley #humor

Nefarious. This is what we get when we hire a Yale boy.” “You missed sacrosanct earlier. And taciturn and glowering,” Jack said. “What’s glowering?” “Me, apparently.” Wilkins pointed. “Now that has to be a joke.” He turned to Davis. “You heard that, right?” Davis didn’t answer him, having spun his chair around to type something at his computer. “Let’s see what Google says… Ah – here it is. ‘Glowering: dark; showing a brooding ill humor. ↗

— Julie James

#jack-pallas #julie-james #something-about-you #humor

Oh yeah? How about M'Lin the cursed? ↗

— L.J. Smith

#paranormal #romance #humor