#pet

One could mention many loveable traits in Smee. For instance, after killing, it was his spectacles he wiped instead of his weapon. ↗

— J.M. Barrie

#humor #irony #j-m-barrie #killing #neverland

There was no twinkle in his eyes. "Maybe I just love some of you. Maybe not enough." Tiger Lily blinked at him, and she didn't understand how anyone could only love a part. Her greedy heart didn't work that way. ↗

— Jodi Lynn Anderson

#peter-pan #tiger-lily #love

Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.
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— Jarod Kintz

#cat #cats #clean #floor #funny

Grab life by the tail, and then pet it.
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— Jarod Kintz

#animal #funny #humor #life #love

A brick has no legs, so it probably slithers like a snake. Therefore, a brick might make a good pet. And at least you wouldn’t have to walk it.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #dog

It’s true—there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows. ↗

— Cheryl Cory

#funny #humor #kermit #muppets #music

She [Pansy] pushed in next to Poppy so that she could see him around the guard's elbow. She was as tall as Poppy, with shining dark-brown hair and blue eyes. An utterly lovely girl, as all the princesses were, yet Oliver thought Petunia was far more beautiful. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#jessica-day-george #oliver #petunia #princess-of-the-silver-woods #romance

What about this? A colony of nothing but Battle School grads. If they bred true, they'd be the smartest military minds in the galaxy. Then they'd come home and take over Earth. OK, not that. -Peter ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#colonization #genius-children #peter-wiggin #home

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#pets #humor

Fredrick gazed into the deep blue eyes of Jackson for a few seconds before answering. “I’d like the best room in the hotel.”
 “We have hundreds of rooms here, and all of them are the best.”
 “How can they all be number one? Only one can be number one.”
 “Ah, this is true. And this is false. What’s the best to you may be worst to someone else. Since every room here is completely different, each room is number one to someone, even if that same room is number two to someone else.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#competition #customer-service #funny #guest-service #hospitality