#pi

She raised a sharp eyebrow at him. "Vlad, no offense, but look at you. If you're not a vampire, you're clearly the most anemic goth I've ever seen."... "We believed you. Because that's what friends do." pg267 October to Vlad ↗

— Heather Brewer

#friends #goth #humor #october #vampire

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#sleeping-in #humor

I've been diagnosed as being bi-polar but so have Florence Nightingale and King David...which kinda leaves me in pretty dam good company...if I must say so. ↗

— Timothy Pina

#humor

I had lied so much lately that I was honestly surprised my pants weren't literally made of fire. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #humor

If someone wanted to have a grudge against me, or didn't agree with my lifestyle, the way I breathed, the space I took up on this planet, they had an open door to 'report' to the powers that be. ↗

— Mark Alders

#life-lesson #humor

Why go for something cold and dead, when you can have something hot and panting? ↗

— K.R. Smith

#vampires #werewolves #humor

Nothing heals the soul like chocolate," she said. "I just love chocolate. It's God's apology for broccoli." (said by Macy Wood, Finding Noel by Richard Paul Evans ↗

— Richard Paul Evans

#inspirational #humor

I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#irony #humor

Is this bitch crazy? I don't want to 'accidentally' drown ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#vampire #humor

No men who really think deeply about women retain a high opinion of them ↗

— Otto Weininger

#inspirational #science #humor