#ploy

Actually, [Wax] said, we came here because we needed someplace safe to think for a few hours." Ranette: "Your mansion isn't safe?" Wax: "My butler failed to poison me, then tried to shoot me, then set off an explosive in my study" Ranette: "Huh.... You need to screen these people better, Wax. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #safety #screening #servants #humor

A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick #brick-and-blanket #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #depression

One must binge constantly to remain self-employed. To sober up would result in getting fired for over-efficiency. ↗

— Bauvard

#binging #employment #funny #humor #sobriety

Funny thing, employment. If you keep doing it, you keep getting paid. ↗

— N.K. Jemisin

#humor #funny

Being upright and uncompromising will lead to unemployment by themselves. But to be willfully ignorant of a calling in life as well, that is the denial of a born alcoholic. ↗

— Bauvard

#callings #denial #funny #humor #jobs

I hired a counterfeiter the other day. I told him, “As for your salary, how much you make is really up to you.” I love a business model where the employee pays the employer. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#business-model #cash #counterfeit #counterfeiter #currency

A major reason many Americans still struggle to find meaningful work is because they are using tactics from the 1990s and early 2000s. The future for employment is now here...and it's online." ~February 21, 2013 as featured by CBS Money Watch ↗

— Matt Keener

#employment #virtual-cubicle #work #business

My first bit of advice is to not personalize a job loss. The cause for the dismissal was a business calculation. This is difficult for many to grasp; it’s difficult to accept that events just occur. Come to see this as an experience. Obviously not the most pleasant experience, but it is one that you’ll overcome. ↗

— John-Talmage Mathis

#motivation #unemployment #business

I was inspired to write Countdown 'til Daddy Comes Home when I searched for books to help my 4 year daughter cope with her father deploying to Afghanistan and found nothing that quite fit our situation. My book is not only a great story for kids it has real suggestions for parents on how to keep you family connected during deployments or frequent business travel. ↗

— Kristin Ayyar

#deployment #military-family #military-kids #miss-daddy #traveling-parent

There are stories — legends, really — of the “steady job.” Old-timers gather graduates around the flickering light of a computer monitor and tell stories of how the company used to be, back when a job was for life, not just for the business cycle. … The graduates snicker. A steady job! They’ve never heard of such a thing. ↗

— Max Barry

#jobs #unemployment #business