#po

The Pakistani government and its allies must overhaul their policies in Pakistan. ↗

— Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy

#government #must #pakistan #pakistani #policies

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#arnold schwarzenegger #best #best part #candy #full

In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#arrested #because #breath #catching #completely

President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#awkward #baseball #bush #canada #cards

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#better #duh #i #just #men

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #debate #during #each #edwards

In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#cleveland #fit #forward #however #legislation

Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #changed #difference #hasn #his

The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#army #asked #bidding #cheney #competitive

Yesterday, the Pentagon warned U.S. reporters that they should get out of Baghdad as soon as possible because the U.S. could attack at any time. Then the Pentagon added, 'Whatever you do, don't tell Geraldo.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#any #attack #baghdad #because #could