#practical

I was once honest with myself, on April Fool's day. I thought it would be the best practical joke ever, but I realized I'd already been the butt of an even bigger one. My birth. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #honesty #humor #practical-jokes #funny

The only practical thing to do with the absent-minded is to put them in retirement homes when they are born and admire their artwork when they are senile. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #practical #funny

As an instrument for practical action, law is responsive to the wisdom of its time, which may be wrong, but it carries forward, sometimes in opposition to this wisdom or passion, a memory of received values. ↗

— Edward Levi

#carries #forward #instrument #law #may

Never look back, that's what she's told herself. Don't think about swans or being alone in the dark. Don't think of storms, or lightning and thunder, or the true love you won't ever have. Life is brushing your teeth and making breakfast for your children and not thinking about things, and as it turns out, Sally is first-rate at all of this. She gets things done and done on time. ↗

— Alice Hoffman

#life

A fortuneteller at a magicians' convention in Atlantic City once told him that when he fell in love it would be forever, and he laughed at the notion, but now he sees that reading was completely on target. ↗

— Alice Hoffman

#love

Actual message in letter I mailed: Congrats on getting married! Here’s a hundred-dollar gift certificate to Amazon.com. You could buy something practical, or you could buy 101 copies of my .99 cents ebook. Just kidding—I didn’t mean to imply that buying 101 copies of my book was impractical. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#books #gift-certificate #impractical #insightful #letter

Zealots are like one track-pony. Don't get in their way without expecting to get hurt. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#practicality-for-intellectuals #truth-telling #inspirational

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ↗

— Rita Rudner

#feeling #get #god #joke #men

The factories were heavily bombed, but practically the construction work had been redone very quickly. ↗

— Gianni Agnelli

#bombed #construction #factories #had #heavily

Well, Italy had been overrun by the War, there had practically been civil war, north and south of the Gothic Line, heavy bombing, the northern industrial cities had been bombed heavily and we had political disorder before 1948. ↗

— Gianni Agnelli

#before #bombed #bombing #cities #civil