#pro

Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good? ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #humor

I don’t believe him,” said Hermione in a very unsteady voice, the moment they were out of earshot of Hagrid. “I don’t believe him. I really don’t believe him. . . .” “Calm down,” said Harry. “Calm down!” she said feverishly. “A giant! A giant in the forest! And we’re supposed to give him English lessons! Always assuming, of course, we can get past the herd of murderous centaurs on the way in and out! I — don’t — believe — him! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#centaurs #duty #humor #promises #humor

Very well,” Beatrix said reluctantly. “But I warn you, they may be resistant to the match.” “I’m resistant to the match,” Christopher informed her. “At least we’ll have that in common. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #proposal #humor

I lunged, low and quick, and drove about a foot of cold steel into his danglies. Hey, I don't care what kind of fearie or mortal or hideous creature you are. If you've got danglies, and can loose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the possible genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #proven-guilty #humor

Anyway, why would you trust anything written down? She certainly didn't trust "Mothers of Borogravia!" and that was from the government. And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust? Very nearly everyone, come to think of it... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #lies #propaganda #war #humor

Looks like Faye's doing a little extracurricular activity," a voice behind her murmured, and Cassie turned gratefully. Nick nodded at the guy who was occupying the seat there, and the guy scrambled up and left. Cassie hardly noticed the occurrence, it was so common. The kids from Crowhaven Road indicated what they wanted, and the outsiders gave it to them. Always. It was the way things worked. Nick sat in the vacated chair and took out a pack of cigarettes. He opened it, shook one forward. Then he noticed Cassie. Cassie was staring at him with her eyebrows lifted, her best Diana expression on. Disapproval radiating from her like heat waves. "Ah," Nick said. He glanced at the cigarettes, then at her again. He tapped the protruding cigarette back into place and tucked the pack in his pocket. "Bad habit," he said. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#habits #humor #humor

The main hallway of the Sternwood place was two stories high. Over the entrance doors, which would have let in a troop of Indian elephants, there was a broad stained-glass panel showing a knight in dark armor rescuing a lady who was tied to a tree and didn’t have any clothes on but some very long and convenient hair. The knight had pushed the vizor of his helmet back to be sociable, and he was fiddling with the knots on the ropes that tied the lady to the tree and not getting anywhere. I stood there and thought that if I lived in the house, I would sooner or later have to climb up there and help him. He didn’t seem to be really trying. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#efficiency #humor #knights #propriety #rescue

Out here, it's better safe than sorry, because generally speaking, too much of the time sorry means you're dead. ↗

— Patricia C. Wrede

#humor #proverbs #safe #sorry #humor

Talking about a problem sometimes makes it worse. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#life #problems #humor

As someone who grew up in the Bronx, I certainly learned my share of four-letter words, but none are more powerful than nice. ↗

— Linda Kaplan Thaler

#inspirational #self-improvement #humor