#ps

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid! ↗

— Bill Watterson

#calvin-and-hobbes #comic #comic-strips #comics #hobbes

She preferred imaginary heroes to real ones, because when tired of them, the former could be shut up in the tin kitchen till called for, and the latter were less manageable. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#imaginary #real #relationships #louisa-may-alcott

I was trying to decide if you still had free will as a wolf. If I was a terrible person for planning to drug my girlfriend and drag her back to my house to keep in the basement. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#relationships #sam-roth #humor

Never love someone beneath your level of evolution. If you want a monkey, you can visit one at your local zoo. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#humor #infatuation #love #relationships #humor

The last excuse that I'll claim, I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl. ↗

— Ron Pope

#couples #heartbroken #love #relationships #love

I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd fought for you. I was weak and stupid. ↗

— S.J. Watson

#relationships #love

Pundits are always blaming TV for making people stupid, movies for desensitizing the world to violence, and rock music for making kids take drugs and kill themselves. These things should be the least of our worries. The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy. There is no 'normal,' because everybody is being twisted by the same sources simultaneously. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#love #media #relationships #humor

Sure am glad I'm not royalty," I muttered. "I wouldn't want to have to bump uglies with someone I can't stand. On a regular basis. And no one else." "Ow!" I exclaimed, trying to yank my fingers from Trent but finding them caught. Then I colored, realizing what I'd said. "Oh… sorry," I stammered, meaning it. "That was insensitive." Trent's frown turned into a sly smirk. "Bump uglies?" he said, eyes on the table behind me. "You are a font of gutter slang, Rachel. We must do this again. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#relationships #humor

My Zombie apocalypse plan is simple but effective; I fully intend to die in the very first wave. Seems more logical than undergoing all kinds of hardships only to die eventually anyway (through bites/malnutrition/or terminally chapped lips) ↗

— Graham Parke

#humor #zombie #humor

Before he had time to figure it out, his walkie-talkie crackled and a voice came on. He punched a button. "Sheriff here. What's up?" "Someone called about a public disturbance behind schmitty's bar," a woman's voice reported. "Cathy use the proper code number," Billy growled. "There ain't no number for a guy acting like a cockroach!" the woman yelled. "he climbed into their Dumpster and he's wallowing in the trash. ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#dumpster #sheriff #love