#pun

Maybe the witch thought she was protecting Rapunzel, not punishing her. Maybe she thought that if Rapunzel was locked away, no one could ever hurt her. Maybe the witch kept Rapunzel because she loved her, because she was scared that if other people could get to Rapunzel, they would hurt her. And maybe Rapunzel didn't understand the witch; maybe she was angry at her - but maybe she loved her too. ↗

— Alyssa B. Sheinmel

#rapunzel #witch #beauty

Life insurance is a dying industry.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #dying #industry #life-insurance #pun

...because of the foulness of her mother's emotional river, a current which ran swift, changing its path without warning... ↗

— Tamara Rose Blodgett

#descriptive-prose #dystopia #from-review #paranormal-romance #post-apocalyptic

I stood behind the man’s chair, my blade at his throat. “Why do you do it?” I asked, knowing he wouldn’t answer. “Kill people, and blow up buildings, and sell drugs?” It was what they all did. Committed crimes. That was why I killed them. “You’re a criminal, a terrorist, a danger. And I have been asked to take you out.” I told him. I was legend now, yet he asked the same question all the others did. “What is your name?” My sensitive ears tuned out the slit as my sword cut his neck. I walked around the chair to see his face. I watched as his eyes–slowly at first–changed from blue to milky white. His skin went pale. And as I heard him take his last breath, I ducked in so my lips hovered at his ear, and whispered, “My name, is Sharden. ↗

— Alysha Speer

#body-of-blades #crime #kill #punishment #sharden

A kiss, then Brady said, “Hey, sweetheart.” As he pulled away, I turned, grinning ear to ear. “Hey, Brady—” I halted when I saw his shirt, mostly because I was laughing too hard to continue. My face went hot, from 98.6 to 200 degrees in a second flat. It wasn’t the only part of my anatomy to react, either. The shirt was white and clinging, hot as hell on him, of course. But stenciled in spray paint across the chest in the usual blocky lettering were the words FUCK ME, ETIENNE. “Tried to convince the band to change our name, but they didn’t go for it. I settled for the shirt. ↗

— Katey Hawthorne

#punk #romance #change

Oh Lestat, you deserved everything that's ever happened to you. You better not die. You might actually go to hell. ↗

— Anne Rice

#death #deserved #hell #karma #lestat

You see... I'm holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?" "Pathetic," he told George. "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go with holey? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #puns #twins #death

Every night death came, slowly, painfully, and every morning Maddox awoke in bed, knowing he'd have to die again later. That was his greatest curse and his eternal punishment. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#death #maddox #punishment #death

Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrate #death #freedom #holiday #honor

He turns off the techno-shit in his goggles. All it does is confuse him; he stands there reading statistics about his own death even as it's happening to him. Very post-modern. ↗

— Neal Stephenson

#science-fiction #sf #death