#quote

I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees ↗

— Matt Groening

#homer-simpson-quotes #humor #humor

To attain wisdom, sum up the childlike wonder of foolishness. Then the gullible will become judicious. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #quotes #funny

There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway. ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#funny

Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-quotes #humor #humorous #tags-funny-and-random #funny

A journey of a million miles, always begins with a single step ↗

— Melissa Mercer

#inspurational #inspirational

Hurray', shouted Glokta. 'Porridge again!'He looked over at the motionless Practical. 'Porridge and honey, better than money, everything's funny, with porridge and honey! ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#food #glokta #humor #unexpected-quote #food

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny #humor #humorous #humorous-quote #funny

Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-quotes #humor #humorous #tags-funny-and-random #funny

Shit down your computer, and restart. ↗

— Claire Chilton

#funny-quotes #i-t-quotes #techie-quotes #typo-quotes #funny

The codfish lays ten thousand eggs. The homely hen lays one. Codfish never cackles to tell you what she has done. And so we scorn the codfish, while the humble hen we prize, which only goes to show you that it pays to advertise! ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#humour-quote #poetry-quotes #home