#ra

This is sams phone" there was a long,heavy pause, and then: "oh." Another pause. "Youre the girl, arent you? The girl who was in my house?" I tried to think of what i might gain by denying it and drew a blank "yes" do you have a name?" do you?" he gave a short laugh that was completely without humor but not unpleasent. "I think i might like you. Im Beck. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#grace #humor

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#philosophy #terry-pratchett #wintersmith #humor

His green eyes blazed with desire; such a different look than I'd known before. Chase had studied me, reading my feelings. Tucker was only trying to see his own reflection. Disturbing on several levels. ↗

— Kristen Simmons

#inspiring #poetic #funny

You said she's a senior? Babe we're ALL crazy. ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#crazy #funny #girl #gossip #love

I’m nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in another. Instead of railroad tracks converging in the distance, the workers got lazy halfway there and switched from building one side of the track to the other. So when my brother was standing in front of an oncoming train, I told him not to be worried – the tracks are still under construction. I just never expected the train to have hovering technology. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #trains #vision #funny

There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#logic #logics #funny

I introduced myself thus: “My name is Moscow Moonlove. My friends call me Moss, Cow, Moo, Moon, or Tigerpants. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#introduction #random #funny

I don't know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen. ↗

— Gary Larson

#funny #humor #inspirational #funny

I rolled my eyes. “Do all narcotics officers lack basic human compassion, or were you just not hugged enough as a child?” Trust Me ↗

— L.A. Witt

#funny

Shit," Delia said. "I mean, shoot. No, actually, I mean shit. I really do. ↗

— Sarah Dessen

#sarah-dessen #funny