#rain

The x-ray of your skull shows a large, flobby mass floating inside. I have to consult my colleagues to be certain, but it looks like a long sausage snarled into a lump. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #sausage #x-ray #funny

I miss your silent stature, your avoided days of disaster, your present state of distress. I’m cinnamon, cloves and fire, you are the rested cedarwood of desire. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#desire #friendship-quotes #friendship-true-and-loyal #jamie-weise #love

I just don't know what I'd do without a brain, Simone!" I say. "I mean, what's a person without one? ↗

— Randa Abdel-Fattah

#brains #funny #funny

You were upset. I don't want you feeling forced into anything," he pressed on, horrified at his own words. Mental. Since when did he let chivalry get in the way of a blowjob? Talk about boycotting oneself, jeez. ↗

— Elle Aycart

#self-restraint #funny

I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one and the same.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #rain #rain-soup #rainbow

still other winters average their rain months into a long, cold season of relentless sog and little color. At such times, looking out through the spattered glass, I feel, deep in some spongy, unignorable organ, that we will have floods, and damage, and losses; we will have gray till the cows come home, and there will be no more cows--they'll all just rot, drown, or simply wash away. We will have rain until the very hills dissolve. And when the dirty cotton swaddling of fog finally falls away, we will all be desperate for vital signs. ↗

— Robert Michael Pyle

#winter #home

How do you feel right now?" "I hurt like hell." "You'll feel worse tomorrow." "So?" "So, better get a jump on this while you still feel...not as bad." "What kind of logic is that?" I retorted. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#logic #training #humor

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#eeyore #humor #thinking #thoughts #winnie-the-pooh

It rained toads the day the White Council came to town. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#magic #rain #toads #humor

Kahlan ambled toward the door. "Well, my breasts aren't as large as yours Berdine." She slowed as she passed Raina. "I think Raina's hands would fit mine better. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#humor #kahlan #raina #humor