#rand

A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used like a fleeglebeegle, which in turn could be used like a zoopkatofka, which itself could be used like a Wexlybexter Device (the one with the hand crank, not the one with the foot peddles). Gosh, I hope I clarified at least one thing for you.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’m not trying to—What do teenagers say nowadays?” he asked my grandmother.“Get all up in her biznez,” Nana said.Without cracking a smile.“That’s right,” he replied. “We’re not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#grandparents #teenage-slang #funny

A brick could be used as a cuddle partner. Just glue some fur on it and voila! It’s as good as snuggling with any dead animal you find on the side of the highway. (Which is getting rarer to find in this depression where everyone’s going hungry.)
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to sell two-legged tables to one-legged men. This very same blanket could also teach them some Latin—specifically the phrase “Caveat Emptor.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be thrown, like a football, only instead of a wide receiver, I’d recommend sending out a politician to catch your pass.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa. ↗

— Molly Harper

#grandpa #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #remarried

If you fall, I'll be the there ↗

— Floor

#floor #funny #random #funny

You're (I'm) not weird, you're (I'm) just not preticularily normal. ↗

— Ben van Waterschoot

#wierd #funny

A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange