#rap

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#dark-humor #ego #egotism #egotist #funny

They had to swing by Jared’s locker so he could grab his jacket. “A leather jacket,” Kami said as he shrugged into it. “Aren’t you trying a little too hard to play into certain bad boy clichés?” “Nah,” said Jared. “You’re thinking of black leather. Black leather’s for bad boys. It’s all in the color. You wouldn’t think I was a bad boy if I was wearing a pink leather jacket.” “That’s true,” Kami said. “What I would think of you, I do not know. So what does brown leather mean, then?” “I’m going for manly,” Jared said. “Maybe a little rugged.” “It’s bits of dead cow; don’t ask it to perform miracles. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#funny

Autobiography is the most objective genre of historical fiction there is. I would consider it a scientific method, but as it doesn’t involve making hypotheses it is far more accurate. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #objectivity #science #funny

She wore a loose-fitting purple velvet Pre-Raphaelite gown, and her abundant dark-brown hair flowed down her back and shoulders to her waist. As she drew near, I noticed her warm brown eyes peeping at me beneath lush, un-plucked brows, her smiling red lips and smooth, un-powdered cheeks almost begging for kisses. She possessed a beauty much different from Daisy, more like a wildflower in the unspoiled earth than a prize-winning rose in a formal garden. However, her Pre-Raphaelite fashion might have been an affectation of a different kind, a bit closer to nature but a stylish imitation just the same. ↗

— Gary Inbinder

#neo-victorian #pre-raphaelite #beauty

What's in a name, anyway? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell. ↗

— Reduced Shakespeare Company

#paraphrased #romeo-and-juliet #shakespeare #humor

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#paraphrased #stories #humor

So many things to see, people to do. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#paraphrased #humor

Under her palm, his heart beat strong and sure. It was such a human sound, so honest, so real. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#elena #heart #love #raphael #love

I thought that what I felt for you was right," Luce said. "I loved you until it hurt me, until our love was consumed by your pride and rage. The thing you called love made me disappear. So I had to stop loving." She Paused. "Our adoration never diminished the Throne, but your love diminished me. I never meant to hurt you. I only meant to stop you from hurting me. ↗

— Lauren Kate

#love #luce #lucifer #lucinda #rapture

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little ↗

— Shannon Hale

#romantic-humor #humor