#ren

Impossible," he said "I am in love with my food source. ↗

— James Howe

#friendship #love #food

Physical attraction did its part to glue them together, but something stronger than sexual attraction sealed the bond. When men and women grow apart, it is for the same reason they are drawn together; because they are finally, inherently too different. Friendships among women, on the other hand, were burdened by similarity. ↗

— Galt Niederhoffer

#bond #burdened #different #drawn #friendship

I pushed until I felt his [Donovan's] body grow still, the tendons in his neck relaxing. I pushed until I felt the mouth beneath the pillow droop, one last dull groan fading into silence. And I kept pushing, because I couldn't bear to pull the pillow away to see what I'd done. "You're free," I said. I closed my eyes, saw Donovan as he had been. One last smile, then he faded. ↗

— Alexander Gordon Smith

#friendship #heart-wrenching #friendship

I should stalk over there and pee around his table to stake my claim. Wait...what? Jeez, Kacey. ↗

— K.A. Tucker

#kacey-trent #funny

When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them. ↗

— Bauvard

#children #funny #humor #parenting #funny

If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This was inevitable. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor #parenting #humor

I'm an elephant today. I will need to have lots of room and also a bowl of water on the floor. ↗

— Jesse Ball

#elephant #humor #personal-space #silly #humor

How is it?" I ask as we stroll towards the dressing rooms. "Working at the playground. That must be fun." "Sure, they're just adorable," she says, "For the first five minutes. And then I want to wring their adorable little necks." I stop, shocked. "I always figured you loved kids." "Yeah, no." Kayla shakes her head emphatically. "One kid, I can do, even two-- just stick them in front of a Disney movie, let them play Xbox all night. But a herd of them?" She shudders. ↗

— Abby McDonald

#humor #humor

I couldn't make myself imagine Dad holding some creamy-faced baby, cooing at it, telling it he loved it. Taking it to baseball games. Living some life he'd probably consider his 'real life,' the one he deserved rather than the one he got. ↗

— Jennifer Brown

#fathers-and-daughters #parents #imagination

Children accept many things adults will not accept, since the world of a child is a constant revelation without any need for knowledge of cause and effect. ("Miss Esperson") ↗

— August Derleth

#imagination #imagination