#ren

Is he a scumbag in training?” Richard glanced at the gunman. “At least have the decency to hold the gun properly, you fool. If you don’t know how, pass it to someone who does. I’m not going to suffer being shot at by anything less than a full- fledged lowlife. (Richard) ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#gun #humor #lowlife #scumbag #humor

I'm an elephant today. I will need to have lots of room and also a bowl of water on the floor. ↗

— Jesse Ball

#elephant #humor #personal-space #silly #humor

How is it?" I ask as we stroll towards the dressing rooms. "Working at the playground. That must be fun." "Sure, they're just adorable," she says, "For the first five minutes. And then I want to wring their adorable little necks." I stop, shocked. "I always figured you loved kids." "Yeah, no." Kayla shakes her head emphatically. "One kid, I can do, even two-- just stick them in front of a Disney movie, let them play Xbox all night. But a herd of them?" She shudders. ↗

— Abby McDonald

#humor #humor

Never believe for a second that your weak, within all of us we have a reserve of inner hidden strength, ↗

— Victoria Addino

#conquer #mental-balance #strength #structure #struggle

People who have babies tell me I will know a love that is beyond anything I can imagine, and a joy that is indescribable. Love and joy? That sounds horrifying. I have no way of knowing whether I can handle either of those. I'm much better with need and fear. They are what ground me. ↗

— Marc Maron

#fear #humor #parenting #imagination

But why is it that if you imagine a baby who smells of milk, for example, you can't help smiling? Why is there such an agreement around the world about what is or isn't a foul smell? Who decided what smells bad? Is it impossible that somewhere in this world there are people who, if they sat next to a homeless fellow they'd get the urge to snuggle up to him, but if they sat next to a baby they'd get an urge to kill it? ↗

— Ryū Murakami

#homeless-people #life #people #smells #imagination

Physical attraction did its part to glue them together, but something stronger than sexual attraction sealed the bond. When men and women grow apart, it is for the same reason they are drawn together; because they are finally, inherently too different. Friendships among women, on the other hand, were burdened by similarity. ↗

— Galt Niederhoffer

#bond #burdened #different #drawn #friendship

I pushed until I felt his [Donovan's] body grow still, the tendons in his neck relaxing. I pushed until I felt the mouth beneath the pillow droop, one last dull groan fading into silence. And I kept pushing, because I couldn't bear to pull the pillow away to see what I'd done. "You're free," I said. I closed my eyes, saw Donovan as he had been. One last smile, then he faded. ↗

— Alexander Gordon Smith

#friendship #heart-wrenching #friendship

Tu seras toujours mon ami. Tu auras envie de rire avec moi. ↗

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

#foreign-language #french #friendship #laughter #friendship

I ignore people who need me and latch on to people who don't. I dive into every other world except my own just because I want something more glamorous than my real life. I do destructive shit so a stupid hypocritical fish will like me. I fall for fish instead of girls. ↗

— Hannah Moskowitz

#friendship #loneliness #love #friendship