#report

When my TV show, 'Sports Jobs with Junior Seau,' assigned me to be a 'Sports Illustrated' reporter for a weekend, I didn't realize I'd have to squeeze it in around another sports job. I had planned to retire from the NFL to enjoy the cushy lifestyle of a full-time reality TV star, but I wound up getting run over by a bull. ↗

— Junior Seau

#around #assigned #bull #enjoy #full-time

On his own okay, Bush has authorized eavesdropping on as many as a thousand people over the past three years, with some of those intercepts being purely domestic, the New York Times reported. ↗

— Margaret Carlson

#being #bush #domestic #eavesdropping #his

Alexander Hamilton Junior High School -- SEMESTER REPORT -- STUDENT: Joseph Margolis TEACHER: Janet Hicks ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES: A, SCIENCE: A, NEATNESS: A, PUNCTUALITY: A, PARTICIPATION: A, OBEDIENCE: D Teacher's Comments: Joseph remains a challenging student. While I appreciate his creativity, I am sure you will agree that a classroom is an inappropriate forum for a reckless imagination. There is not a shred of evidence to support his claim that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian, and even fewer grounds to explain why he even knows what the word means. Similarly, an analysis of the Constitutional Convention does not generate sufficient cause to initiate a two-hour classroom debate on what types of automobiles the Founding Fathers would have driven were they alive today. When asked on a subsequent examination, "What did Benjamin Franklin use to discover electricity?" eleven children responded "A Packard convertible". I trust you see my problem. [...] Janet Hicks Parent's Comments: As usual I am very proud of Joey's grades. I too was unaware that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian. I assumed they were all Protestants. Thank you for writing. Ida Margolis ↗

— Steve Kluger

#parent #semester-report #teacher #humor

I wanted to be a war reporter - scrabbling around, exposing things. I didn't want to go to university, I wanted to get a job, but Auntie Beryl said I should go to Oxford. ↗

— Nina Bawden

#exposing #get #go #i #job

Clearly you need a new team to go out to bat on your behalf; to fight for your rights and to report back to you personally and to the leadership of the IFP. ↗

— Mangosuthu Buthelezi

#bat #behalf #clearly #fight #go

The day of the daredevil reporter who refuses to see obstacles to getting the truth, and seeing it with his or her own eyes, seems to have died. ↗

— Alastair Campbell

#day #died #eyes #getting #her

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ↗

— George Carlin

#could #english #english language #i #i am

Being a gossip reporter just isn't a respectable job. It'll chew you up and spit you out. ↗

— Kim Cattrall

#chew #gossip #job #just #out

When I get the morning report on security, I call those battalions in the regions where there are problems. ↗

— Alvaro Uribe

#call #get #i #morning #problems

If an investigative reporter finds out that someone has been robbing the store, that may be "gotcha" journalism, but it's also good journalism. ↗

— Ben Bradlee

#been #finds #good #investigative #journalism