#ron

Mr. Rochester never courted Jane Eyre," Tessa pointed out. "No, he dressed up as a woman and terrified the poor girl out of her wits. Is that what you want?" "You would make a very ugly woman." "I would not. I would be stunning. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jane-eyre #tessa-gray #william-herondale #humor

I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#irony #humor

In his old life, the answer would have been easy: He'd have just put a gun to Vin's head and dragged the fucker to the altar. Now? He needed to be a little more civilized. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#jim-heron #marriage #vin #humor

I took my .38 out and looked to see that there were bullets in all the proper places. I knew there would be, but it did no harm to be careful. And I'd seen Clint Eastwood do it once in the movies. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#detectives #guns #humor #irony #machos

You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down, this is important…The world is f**ked up because I eat WonderBread preserved with formaldehyde that lasts three weeks and will never grow mold as long as it’s kept in its magic silver bag. The world is f**ked up because I know my cans of tuna have mercury in it. The world is f**ked up because I know my flake light tuna and WonderBread are poisonous, yet I still eat them! ↗

— Shannon Lyndsy

#humor #satire #humor

Has all the trappings of a mystery novel, doesn't it? ↗

— Patricia Cornwell

#irony #humor

And-he was ashamed to admit--he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#paranormal-romance #sharon-ashwood #the-dark-forgotten #unchained #humor

Though Will was saying earlier,” Tessa added, “that heroes all come to bad ends, and he could not imagine why anyone would want to be one, anyway.” “Ah.” Jem’s hand squeezed hers briefly, and then let it go. “Well, Will is looking at it from the hero’s viewpoint, isn’t he? But as for the rest of us, it’s an easy answer.” “Is it?” “Of course.” His voice was almost a whisper now. “Heroes endure because we need them. Not for their own sakes. If Will … ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #imagination

Niches set back in the walls contained polished marble statues of entwined bodies. Will looked away from them hastily, and then back. It wasn't as if Magnus seemed to be paying attention to what Will was doing, and he'd honestly never imagined two people could get themselves into a position like that, much less make it look artistic. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #magnus-bane #will-herondale #humor

Perfect,” I told him, spreading my hands over the sides of his face. “You were perfect.” Cam dipped his mouth to mine. “Only because I was with you. ↗

— J. Lynn

#cameron-hamilton #love #romance #love