#s

P.S. I also note that you included the Stalker's Anthem "Every Breath You Take" I do enjoy our sense of humor, but does Dr. Flynn know? ↗

— E.L. James

#christian-grey #humor

Some have brains, and some haven't, ... and there it is. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#humor #kids-books #humor

Frank stared at her. "But you throw Ding Dongs at monsters." Iris looked horrified. "Oh, they're not Ding Dongs." She rummaged under the counter and brought out a package of chocolate covered cakes that looked exactly like Ding Dongs. "These are gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations." "All natural!" Fleecy chimed in. "I stand corrected." Frank suddenly felt as queasy as Percy. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #iris #percy-jackson #rick-riordan #humor

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #nonsense #humor

It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows - ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #landy #leaving #skuldugerry-pleasant #wanting

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God. ↗

— Scott Dikkers

#atheism #childhood #humor #kids #parenting

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. ↗

— George Lucas

#sci-fi #star-wars #humor

When I die of heart failure the next time you frighten me like that, you can put that on my gravestone —‘I didn’t mean to startle her ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#epitaph #humor #masques #humor

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#selfishness #humor

I let out a laugh that sounded more like the yip of a startled poodle. "Superp-powers? I wish. My powers aren't winning me a slot on the Cartoon Network anytime soon... except as a comic relief. Ghost Whisperer Junior. Or Ghost Screamer, more like it. Tune in, every week, as Chloe Saunders runs screaming from yet another ghost looking for her help." Okay, superpower might be pushing it. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #powers #humor